Let Your Light Shine Part 3- "Spill the Tea"

 

    The past two parts in this series have been focused on making sure that we are shining our light. Have you ever considered that we have the same impact on other people? We need to make sure that we aren’t blowing out other people’s light because of jealousy, anger, or anything else.

God has really been putting gossip on my heart recently. I feel like there is such a strong need for people to know what is going on and to know everything about everyone all the time. This can be really harmful, not only to us and our hearts, but to those who we are around. I don’t know about you, but I don’t want to be the person constantly “spilling the tea”. (code for gossip) I know first hand how gossip can affect people. You can lose friendships through it and it is even harder to bounce back from it. 

Why do we like gossip? I think that it makes us feel in control. Sometimes it doesn’t even matter if what we are saying is true or if it’s harmful, we are just so willing to say it so that we look “cool”. Why do we like to hear gossip? I think that it makes us feel good that we know things that other people don’t. It makes us feel good because we are putting someone else down for what may or may not be true. It also is masking our own insecurities and takes the spotlight off of us.

It is so easy to be sitting at the lunch table in a big cafeteria and talk about the “it couple” who just broke up. Our society has normalized gossip so much that it is exactly that-normal. We don’t think about it or the consequences. It’s so easy to be listening in or gossiping without thinking we are. “I’m just talking to my girl-friends about life!” Um, the number of times I have thought this is concerning! Why is it so much easier to talk about other people than share our own feelings with someone?

When I was a little girl, I would set up my dolls around a little table and have a tea party. I loved the idea that people had tea every afternoon and I dreamed of joining them!!  If we look at modern day “tea parties” all we have are people “spilling the tea”, which is code for spilling the gossip. I wish so much that we could go back and have normal tea parties! The conversations around those tables are not at all similar to those at the cafeteria tables. We can’t hear the word "tea" without thinking about the new gossip going around. I want to be able to sit and drink tea with my friends without having to put someone else down on news that may or may not be true and hurtful. 

The devil is really clever. He finds ways to be present so that you don’t notice he is there. Let’s be honest, if he walked up to you and said “I want you to believe _____ about yourself because I am the devil and I want to destroy your relationship with God” we would walk away. He is not that obvious and he paints a picture that makes it hard to escape. We slowly start to believe the lies of the devil until we don’t think they are lies anymore. We start to normalize thoughts and feelings that are not normal at all. I think that he has slowly put into our minds that gossip is okay. His subtle tactics normalize gossip.

I love the parable in Matthew about weeds. Mathew 13:24-30 says, a man sowed good seeds in his field. When they were sleeping an enemy came and sowed weeds among the good seeds. This is what Jesus says at the end of the parable,

“Let both grow together until the harvest. At that time I will tell the harvesters: First collect the weeds and tie them in bundles to be burned; then gather the wheat and bring it into my barn.” (verse 30)

To me right now this verse represents the harmfulness of gossip. It is such a good example for how the weeds can grow really fast without you noticing them. They end up killing off the good seeds. You've probably heard before how gossip can spread like a wildfire, well in this case it also spreads like a bunch of weeds. We want to make sure that we are helping to grow the good seeds instead of killing them. You don’t want to be the “weed” that feeds negativity into the “good seeds”. 

The devil may be really sneaky, but our God is so much more powerful! Don’t normalize the things of this world, fight against them. Don’t believe in the lies that Satan wants you to believe about yourself, about God, and about others. He's the master manipulator, and chief gossiper. We need to make sure that we are building others up and helping to show them how to shine their lights, instead of trying to blow them out! We may not even realize that this is happening and I sure didn’t until God put it on my heart. The enemy is so so good at what he does, but our God is so much better at what He does! Let’s help others learn how to feed their fire this week!

Ephesians 4:29- “Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.”